Your Health: Healthy Relationships and Singles - ABC 33/40 - Birmingham News, Weather, Sports

Your Health: Healthy Relationships and Singles

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Birmingham, AL -

As ABC 33/40's Linda Mays finds out... singlehood is a time to celebrate and learn the keys to healthy relationships.

 
    If your status is single, you can learn a lot from this one facebook post about valentine's Day
     
    Clay Leak says.. it may be odd but I have proclaimed Valentine's Day as my favorite holiday for years. It's more fun on the years I am single vs when I have a girl friend.

     Leak is responding to a question posted by Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Vivian Smith Carter On February 7th.

   In part, She asks for input on what does Valentines Day means to you.
  What do you like or dislike about it.?

    Carter says she's in touch with single men and women who are being proactive on this valentines day and setting their frame of mind.

<SOT C1@ 3 50> more women are being proactive about the day realizing it should be a day where you show love to every body you care about and loving yourself is just as important as if it came from someone else..

  That may also help keep people from falling prey to pressure and expectations on Valentines Day as describe in Clay Leaks' post.
  He writes...'When you're in a relationship Valentines Day comes with more pressure and a chance for disappointed expectations that it doesn't when you're single.

     Carter explains.

<SOT C1@ 2 14  BREAK UP BITE> The pressure, for men and women is different. With men there's just plain confusion about what they should do.  <They don't know what the road map is.> They don't whether they'll hit a land mine.  Should they get something. Do they want to get something.
//( Confusion about understanding the female mind.)

<SOT C1@ 2 40> For women a lot of the pressure come from expectations. <Someone who seemingly secure, emotionally forward, career woman will fall prey at pressure on this day.> //  It will be a relationship that maybe new or ok... is now ok because you have to be at the place you get the flowers, the candy and go out dinners and maybe he'll propose and maybe he won't.

    FOR OTHER SINGLES, VALENTINE'S DAY IS A TIME TO STRENGTH BONDS...  
    AND AS LINDA OLLIE SAYS.... ENJOY THE SEASON OF BEING SINGLE.
    OLLIE HOSTS A MONTHLY LIFE GROUP AT HER CHURCH CALLED SELECTIVE SINGLES.  
<SOT C1@ LINDA OLLIE>
     It for encourage its for motivation its for fun.
     THE  50 plus MEN AND WOMEN AGES 30 TO 70 FELLOWSHIP  AND GET TOGETHER FOR A NIGHT OF COMEDY AND A MEAL.
<SOT C 04JR3869 01 @6 18 LINDA OLLIE>  We're going out to dinner Saturday at the Fish Market just for camaraderie and enjoy it, some of the people feel lonely at these times// so they don't feel by themselves.

< SOT C 04JR3869 01 @9 07 LINDA OLLIE>
I'm encouraging them to establish good friendships and that way if it doesn't turn into anything serious that you still have obtained a friend.

EXPERTS AGREE TOO MANY SINGLES FALL INTO A RELATIONSHIP  before really knowing that person.   

<C1@ 12 47+ CARTER>
you're very quick to find what you have in common and you don't want to ask the more difficult questions. You just believe that person believes what you believe.

  AT THE HEART OF THE MATTER.. SINGLEHOOD IS A TIME FOR SINGLES TO ASK THEMSELVES SOME TOUGH QUESTIONS.. Before committing to that special someone...
3 26 ARE YOU  willing to give to me or do something that's uncomfortable for you because you know it makes me happy. And am I willing to do that for you and are we willing to create something together 334
 
     BEFORE BECOMING ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED....  UNDERSTAND LOVE.
<SOT C1@ 6:49 CARTER>
Love really is about not so much finding the right person for you but you being the right person for the other person.
<SOT C1@ 7 34 CARTER>
Good relationships happen when both people do that.  
     IN THE MEANTIME,  CONSIDER BECOMING A  SELECTIVE SINGLE AND LIKE CLAY LEAK  BOND WITH YOUR SINGLE FRIENDS IN FUN AND THE LIGHTHEART SPIRIT OF OPTIMISM.

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