Parents perspective on maintaining your identity after children - ABC 33/40 - Birmingham News, Weather, Sports

Parents perspective on maintaining your identity after children

Posted: Updated:

Bringing home a newborn takes young parents to the top. It can also quickly have them feel the bottom fell out!

Midnight feedings and sleepless nights become the new norm. Husband and wife now are 'mom and dad.' What does that do to the couple? What does that say about who an individual really is? 

It is challenging, but not impossible to keep that side of life going strong too.

31-year-old Rachel Callahan cherishes moments playing with her two toddlers, Noah and Ally.

She recalls the feeling, when she first became a mother. "(Is it) always going to be like this? I'm never going to feel like myself again. I dreamed about my baby, every thought was about my baby," says Callahan. "And I thought I completely lost who I was. I literally could not separate in my mind, Rachel from Ally's mother."

While she may be a stay at home mom, Callahan finds time to separate herself from that full-time responsibility. She began writing a blog "Grasping for Objectivity" as a way to maintain her own identity.

"I needed some sort of outlet," she explains. "It also ended up giving me a ton of relationships from outside of my house, which was great to interact with my friends all day."

Callahan says, in  time, she and her husband were able to find time for each other and for friends. A critical part of maintaining a personal identity.

"Date nights are really important, my husband is very supportive of girls night, having time with my girlfriends to talk, because he knows us girls need
to be able to relate to each other and tell each other that we're normal," says a laughing Callahan.

Korliss Datcher and her husband Kelvin have been married three years.

Their son Zach turns two next week and their daughter Zoe is 12-weeks-old.
They agree, it's important to find free time for each other.

"We have a really good family, our family is great, they can take care of the kids when we want to get out for a day or spend an evening with some friends," says Datcher. "An hour without changing a diaper is paradise. It's nice to be able to take a step back, a deep breath before you dive back in."

Kelvin has embraced his new identity as a father though. He says, "(My identity) changed, but I don't feel like I've lost anything. I feel like I've gained a lot."

Callahan loves her role as a parent as well. However, she says finding a balance can have great benefits for the whole family.

"You need to carve out time for yourself and enjoy it, your kids need you to have time for yourself, you're going to be a better mother because of it," says Callahan.

  • Central Alabama NewsMore>>

  • Plane crashes in Taiwan, 47 feared dead

    Plane crashes in Taiwan, 47 feared dead

    Wednesday, July 23 2014 11:41 AM EDT2014-07-23 15:41:13 GMT
    A plane landing in stormy weather crashed outside an airport on a small Taiwanese island late Wednesday, and the transport minister said 47 people were trapped and feared dead.More >>
    A plane landing in stormy weather crashed outside an airport on a small Taiwanese island late Wednesday, and the transport minister said 47 people were trapped and feared dead.More >>
  • Kayak BBQ and Blues Festival at the gulf

    Kayak BBQ and Blues Festival at the gulf

    Tuesday, July 22 2014 9:05 PM EDT2014-07-23 01:05:11 GMT
    The 2nd Annual Kayak BBQ and Blues Festival is coming on September 6th at Perdido Key. The event will be held at Stacey's at the Point, just off Galvez Landing. Last year's event attracted over 3,500 visitors in its first year, more are expected this year.The festival will feature kayak and stand up paddleboard races, arts and crafts vendors, live music, a huge fireworks show and a BBQ cook off competition with cash prizes. This year's kayak and paddleboard races have been expanded with separ...More >>
    The 2nd Annual Kayak BBQ and Blues Festival is coming on September 6th at Perdido Key. The event will be held at Stacey's at the Point, just off Galvez Landing. Last year's event attracted over 3,500 visitors in its first year, more are expected this year.The festival will feature kayak and stand up paddleboard races, arts and crafts vendors, live music, a huge fireworks show and a BBQ cook off competition with cash prizes. This year's kayak and paddleboard races have been expanded with separ...More >>
  • Chrysler recalls older Jeep SUVs worldwide due to faulty ignition switches

    Chrysler recalls older Jeep SUVs worldwide due to faulty ignition switches

    Tuesday, July 22 2014 6:01 PM EDT2014-07-22 22:01:38 GMT
    The ignition switch defects that engulfed General Motors are now a rapidly growing problem at Chrysler.More >>
    The ignition switch defects that engulfed General Motors are now a rapidly growing problem at Chrysler.
    More >>
  • Birmingham Area NewsMore>>

  • Board members extend contract for Superintendent of Birmingham City Schools

    Board members extend contract for Superintendent of Birmingham City Schools

    Wednesday, July 23 2014 11:59 AM EDT2014-07-23 15:59:49 GMT
    Parents all over are getting their child's 'back to school' list together. Classes in Birmingham start August 14, 2014. The school board is also getting ready. Board members checked off a big item during the last board meeting.More >>
    Parents all over are getting their child's 'back to school' list together. Classes in Birmingham start August 14, 2014. The school board is also getting ready. Board members checked off a big item during the last board meeting.More >>
  • One suspect in Ensley quintuple homicide trial agrees to plea deal

    One suspect in Ensley quintuple homicide trial agrees to plea deal

    Wednesday, July 23 2014 11:35 AM EDT2014-07-23 15:35:52 GMT
    Artavius Underwood, along with 2 other men, are accused of killing five men in an Ensley house in 2012.More >>
    Artavius Underwood, along with 2 other men, are accused of killing five men in an Ensley house in 2012.More >>
  • Governor Bentley meets with children relying on Carly's Law

    Governor Bentley meets with children relying on Carly's Law

    Wednesday, July 23 2014 9:05 AM EDT2014-07-23 13:05:26 GMT
    Governor Robert Bentley spent time with families that fought for the passage of Carly's law.The new law allows research on cannabis oil, as a potential treatment for seizure patients.The oil is derived from marijuana plants.The studies will be conducted at UAB."How is she doing, she's doing better. She had brain surgery two years ago." Governor Robert Bentley greeted Monday by several happy families at Pelham City Hall. "This is Carly, I know Carly, Carly came to see me in my office." Dustin ...More >>
    Governor Robert Bentley spent time with families that fought for the passage of Carly's law.The new law allows research on cannabis oil, as a potential treatment for seizure patients.The oil is derived from marijuana plants.The studies will be conducted at UAB."How is she doing, she's doing better. She had brain surgery two years ago." Governor Robert Bentley greeted Monday by several happy families at Pelham City Hall. "This is Carly, I know Carly, Carly came to see me in my office." Dustin ...More >>
  • Anniston - Gadsden Area NewsMore>>

  • Oneonta police need help identifying woman who stole flowers from gravesite (pictures)

    Oneonta police need help identifying woman who stole flowers from gravesite (pictures)

    Wednesday, July 23 2014 12:55 PM EDT2014-07-23 16:55:33 GMT
    Oneonta police have turned to Facebook in trying to identify a woman who apparently stole flowers from a gravesite at a Oakhill Cemetery on Tuesday.More >>
    Oneonta police have turned to Facebook in trying to identify a woman who apparently stole flowers from a gravesite at a Oakhill Cemetery on Tuesday.
    More >>
  • Suspect in Jacksonville shooting from June turns self in

    Suspect in Jacksonville shooting from June turns self in

    Tuesday, July 22 2014 7:06 PM EDT2014-07-22 23:06:38 GMT
    Jacksonville police said the suspect in the June shooting of a Calhoun County man turned himself into police Tuesday afternoon.More >>
    Jacksonville police said the suspect in the June shooting of a Calhoun County man turned himself into police Tuesday afternoon.
    More >>
  • Jacksonville man arrested for child pornography

    Jacksonville man arrested for child pornography

    Tuesday, July 22 2014 7:05 PM EDT2014-07-22 23:05:18 GMT
    William Franklin Harper (Photo: Calhoun County Sheriff's Office)William Franklin Harper (Photo: Calhoun County Sheriff's Office)
    The Alabama Bureau of Investigation’s CyberCrimes Unit arrested a Jacksonville man Tuesday for possession of child pornography.ABI officers served a search warrant at the home of 49-year-old William Franklin Harper. Harper is charged with four counts of possession of child pornography.He is currently in custody at theCalhoun County Jailwith bond setat $100,000 bond.During the search, investigators found methamphetamine. Agents of the Alabama Alcohol Beverage Control Board and the Calhoun Coun...More >>
    The Alabama Bureau of Investigation’s CyberCrimes Unit arrested a Jacksonville man Tuesday for possession of child pornography.ABI officers served a search warrant at the home of 49-year-old William Franklin Harper. Harper is charged with four counts of possession of child pornography.He is currently in custody at theCalhoun County Jailwith bond setat $100,000 bond.During the search, investigators found methamphetamine. Agents of the Alabama Alcohol Beverage Control Board and the Calhoun Coun...More >>
  • Tuscaloosa Area NewsMore>>

  • Warrants issued to arrest Forkland mayor

    Warrants issued to arrest Forkland mayor

    Wednesday, July 23 2014 1:46 PM EDT2014-07-23 17:46:27 GMT

    Warrants allege: Theft of Property & Tampering Govt Records

    More >>

    Warrants allege: Theft of Property & Tampering Govt Records

    More >>
  • Forkland mayor surrenders to authorities, charged with felony theft of property

    Forkland mayor surrenders to authorities, charged with felony theft of property

    Wednesday, July 23 2014 1:35 PM EDT2014-07-23 17:35:20 GMT
    The mayor of Forkland surrendered to the authorities Wednesday to face charges related to the theft of money from the city.More >>
    The mayor of Forkland surrendered to the authorities Wednesday to face charges related to the theft of money from the city.More >>
  • Elderly Tuscaloosa man charged with sexual abuse of 18-year-old woman

    Elderly Tuscaloosa man charged with sexual abuse of 18-year-old woman

    Wednesday, July 23 2014 12:07 PM EDT2014-07-23 16:07:42 GMT
    Tuscaloosa man, 77, charged with sexual abuse of an 18-year-old woman.More >>
    Tuscaloosa man, 77, charged with sexual abuse of an 18-year-old woman.
    More >>
Most Popular
Stories
Videos
loading...