Since the hair has started to grow again, it's been the topic of conversation.  In front of a crowd of distinguished guests, I had to admit my hair has had  many changes in just a  few short few weeks. 

Later a friend told me a lady in the crowd was glad I shared the story of the  changing hair colors.  She said, " I looked at Brenda's hair and said it's not quite right."

I made the point,  my hair color journey doesn't matter... and the bottom line is hair doesn't really matter in the end. But I was trying to be healthy and as close to back to normal as I could be.

In March after spring break the hair was there!  It was just budding.   It was coming back in dark and had a slight wave to it.  But since my boys were anxious for mom to look like their mom again, I dashed to the hair salon and asked them to return me to the old Brenda!  They gently broke it to me that my hair was too short to do normally.  Since the texture and color was different than before, they couldn't say for sure how the coloring would turn out.

I had to take the plunge and be brave.  I didn't know what was on the other side of the coloring process.  I was just glad to be sitting in a hair salon once again discussing the possibilities.  So there I sat with barely enough hair to get color on.  And when it was time to unveil the new "old" me.  I was quite bright and quite yellow.  With the short hair,  the color really stood out.  But I went home to get the grade from my boys and hubby.  

"It's bright!"  They almost said in unison.  Their eyes were as wide as I've ever seen them. I felt like I'd given them an electrical shock.  "But I like it."  My middle son reassured me. 

When I went out into world, I got similar wide eyed looks with nods of approval.  Some would say it needs some work.

"Its a process."  I got used to replying several times a day as I would run into someone I hadn't seen in awhile.  

During March the hair started to grow fast, behind the yellow came the darker color.  A curl started to form from the roots. The changes continued.   The hair needed a little touch up some would say.   So that's what I did.  I went to get a touch up.

That touch up resulted in a bright almost white color that I tried to feel at home in and convince others this was the new me.

But it really wasn't me and every time I'd pass a mirror, I'd startle myself.  I'd pause and say "Is that me?"

It's true I was just happy to have hair, any hair and had to remind loved ones that simply having some hair was a good thing. 

But still I thought, perhaps one more process would do the trick.  Maybe adding some of the darker blond streaks would make me look like me again.  So it was back to the salon.  I sat in the chair and asked for the low lights to be added.  But was warned by the experienced colorist, that it might not look right with hair that's so short.  I had about three quarters of an inch of hair.  It was a lot longer than it had been a few weeks ago.

So we tried it.  An oh my.  She was right.  When the foils came off and the chemicals were washed out.  I looked like a two tone puppy dog.  I had white hair with dark spots.  Some of those spots were oval.  So I quietly headed for the door and a sweet lady said wait.  We can fix this.  My wig looked pretty good at this point.  I thought, so what was so wrong with staying with it for awhile?

I agreed to go back to THE CHAIR,   one more time.  This time they wiped away all the color.  They rubbed and rubbed and rinsed and rinsed and returned me to a golden blond once again.  No it still didn't look like the old me... I was told if I kept trying I could turn my hair purple or pink!

I realize now, it's ok not to be exactly the old Brenda.  I need to celebrate the blessings God has given me. I've learned a lot through cancer, I've grown, and allowed God to mold me and shape me spiritually.  IT'S A PROCESS! Now perhaps I should stay out of  THE CHAIR  for a time and focus on what's really important.  My faith, family, friends and the work the good Lord intends for me to do. 

So thanks for understanding, if I'm too bright, too dark or an unusual color, it's probably not your tv, don't  adjust the color on your set.!

God Bless,

            Brenda