Since the hair has started to grow again, it's been the topic of conversation. In front of a crowd of distinguished guests, I had to admit my hair has had many changes in just a few short few weeks.
Later a friend told me a lady in the crowd was glad I shared the story of the changing hair colors. She said, " I looked at Brenda's hair and said it's not quite right."
I made the point, my hair color journey doesn't matter... and the bottom line is hair doesn't really matter in the end. But I was trying to be healthy and as close to back to normal as I could be.
In March after spring break the hair was there! It was just budding. It was coming back in dark and had a slight wave to it. But since my boys were anxious for mom to look like their mom again, I dashed to the hair salon and asked them to return me to the old Brenda! They gently broke it to me that my hair was too short to do normally. Since the texture and color was different than before, they couldn't say for sure how the coloring would turn out.
I had to take the plunge and be brave. I didn't know what was on the other side of the coloring process. I was just glad to be sitting in a hair salon once again discussing the possibilities. So there I sat with barely enough hair to get color on. And when it was time to unveil the new "old" me. I was quite bright and quite yellow. With the short hair, the color really stood out. But I went home to get the grade from my boys and hubby.
"It's bright!" They almost said in unison. Their eyes were as wide as I've ever seen them. I felt like I'd given them an electrical shock. "But I like it." My middle son reassured me.
When I went out into world, I got similar wide eyed looks with nods of approval. Some would say it needs some work.
"Its a process." I got used to replying several times a day as I would run into someone I hadn't seen in awhile.
During March the hair started to grow fast, behind the yellow came the darker color. A curl started to form from the roots. The changes continued. The hair needed a little touch up some would say. So that's what I did. I went to get a touch up.
That touch up resulted in a bright almost white color that I tried to feel at home in and convince others this was the new me.
But it really wasn't me and every time I'd pass a mirror, I'd startle myself. I'd pause and say "Is that me?"
It's true I was just happy to have hair, any hair and had to remind loved ones that simply having some hair was a good thing.
But still I thought, perhaps one more process would do the trick. Maybe adding some of the darker blond streaks would make me look like me again. So it was back to the salon. I sat in the chair and asked for the low lights to be added. But was warned by the experienced colorist, that it might not look right with hair that's so short. I had about three quarters of an inch of hair. It was a lot longer than it had been a few weeks ago.
So we tried it. An oh my. She was right. When the foils came off and the chemicals were washed out. I looked like a two tone puppy dog. I had white hair with dark spots. Some of those spots were oval. So I quietly headed for the door and a sweet lady said wait. We can fix this. My wig looked pretty good at this point. I thought, so what was so wrong with staying with it for awhile?
I agreed to go back to THE CHAIR, one more time. This time they wiped away all the color. They rubbed and rubbed and rinsed and rinsed and returned me to a golden blond once again. No it still didn't look like the old me... I was told if I kept trying I could turn my hair purple or pink!
I realize now, it's ok not to be exactly the old Brenda. I need to celebrate the blessings God has given me. I've learned a lot through cancer, I've grown, and allowed God to mold me and shape me spiritually. IT'S A PROCESS! Now perhaps I should stay out of THE CHAIR for a time and focus on what's really important. My faith, family, friends and the work the good Lord intends for me to do.
So thanks for understanding, if I'm too bright, too dark or an unusual color, it's probably not your tv, don't adjust the color on your set.!
God Bless,
Brenda
I'm so glad I read your blog. You've been so kind to communicate with me through your ordeal since I have atypical ductal hyperplasia and am still wrestling with the idea of taking Evista. I tried Tamoxifen, if you remember, and the side effects were horrific.
Do you mind my asking you if your cancer that you are being treated for now is breast cancer and if so, I thought I'd heard during your first round with it that you had a masectomy. I hate being so personal but I'm truly concerned and am not sure what direction I should go. In looking at my risk, it shows that within 5 years, I have a 3.7% increase over and above the "normal" 54 year old without taking any drug and a 1.6% overall increase if I do. I would really like to hear your take on this since you have been through it once and are now going through it again.
I pray for you daily and will continue to do so, Brenda.
Thanks for all the encouragement you give to everyone.
God bless!
I watch you everyday on the news at 6 & 10.You are a beautiful person. God bless you.
Melissa , Anniston,Al.
Love & Prayers, by: "His Amazing Grace"
Mwintersnows
Heath Smith (Safety Manager Southern energy Homes).
After reading your blog today, I just wanted to tell you that all of the changes that your hair is going through is just fine! We are just thankful that you are bringing us the news with your usual beautiful, classy style. And I know your hair is not at the top of your worry list, but I also know that it is important on an emotional level. Just know that we support you and are praying for you often.
Sincerely, Mary Huggins (Daughter of a cancer SURVIVOR)
God bless you!
Let me start off by saying, I really enjoy watching you & Dave Baird, ya'll seem like a good tem & you have fun, it's not so "STIFF" My family & I moved from Arkansas to Clanton, 3 years ago, while in AR, we watched channel 7, Your affliate in AR, we really enjoyed that station as well. When we moved here, we found that 33/40, had the same sense of humor as did the anchors in AR, (especially that Ned Perme, weather) Anyway, enough of my life story, I wanted you to know what an inspiration you are to me, I have gotten little bits & pieces of your life, & your battle with cancer & what you have been through, I am sure I don't know the half of it. I need to add one comment about your hair, when you first took off the wig & you had some blond & the darker roots, I really thought that was very becoming to you, I really liked that look. But you know what you are right, who cares what color your hair is, the IMPORTANT thing is you are able to show off your hair & thank God you got it & you are here with us... But I enjoy watching you & hearing about your fight with this big ole monster. I am familiar with cancer, I had a step father that lost his battle, 4 years ago, I was the primary care giver for several months. And to see you doing so well, lightens my heart.. May God continue to bless you & your family & my prayers will continue to be with you... Misty
I just want to say, all anyone can see when they look at you is the Lord. God Bless you...You are truly an inspiration...
Tonight I was in the lobby of tha Emergency Pet Clinic on Acton Road. A lady that I don't know at all was sitting there also and we were watching the 6:00 news. She said to me, not knowing that I am a fan and keep up with you blog, "Who looks at her hair? When my family and I look at her we just see the Lord. She has made a difference in the lives of so many people." I readily agreeed but did say that I felt that if that statement were made to you, your response would be that it wasn't you at all - it was the good Lord in you. Thanks for all that you do for us.
Take care!
Sancy
Carol
Lisa
My husband and I watch you on abc33/40 everyday. We see you and the influence your life has brought to so many, especially in this difficult time. Just wanted to say God Bless you and your family. We never know in this life, what is in store for us. Frankie from Hackleburg, Alabama Have a blessed day.